Two of my closest friends were sitting with me at an East Village restaurant. We sat eating Korean fried chicken and Noreen asked me the question I was dreading.
“Why is it taking you so long to launch your site?”
The truth? I didn’t want people to not like it. And more importantly, I didn’t want them to not like me.
It took me nine months to publish my work. I had written 25 pieces by March. I didn’t launch until August. A lot of you have reached out to me asking how I became bold, brave, and confident enough to publish my work. Here’s the thing that changed everything for me:
I decided to get over myself.
I’ve decided that what I believe about myself and what others think about me is widely insignificant to even the most miniscule thing God can do through me.
It’s actually that simple.
All this took was deciding that the God who lives inside of me and the words He has laid in my heart, are bigger and more important than who people see me to be. It meant that choosing to believe that God loves me and can overflow out of my heart in my craft. It means that doing this covers my family, my friends, and the people I love. I decided that the person I am in Christ is simply more important than any other identity I can be.
I actually don’t have the most supportive network for this work. The people who love me and know me best struggle with this authenticity; people say it blocks good things, relationships, and opportunities. Yet, the minute I decided that my calling was more important than this perceived lack of support, more revelation, truth, and goodness poured over my life in ways I cannot express. I finally stepped directly under the grace and favor of God because I finally believed that He could exist and manifest directly in front of me.
I believed that God could live in my expression, even if it meant that it wasn’t always perceived well.
I write because my heart’s biggest desire is to create and connect others to meaningful, relatable, and beautiful art that helps them see themselves. To do that, I have had to become very comfortable in sharing myself, as myself. I have a responsibility to actually lead with my actions, to be an example, and start this journey as myself. This is my voice, it’s who I am to you on paper. If it leads people to become more of who they are, I can forgive those who are not on this journey who do not react kindly to it.
Believing that is the hardest thing I have ever done. Yet, all I can say is that it has changed my life. I will never be the same and I know that by doing so – I am more in line with my purpose and the impact I am meant to make. All it takes is one decision to alter everything. My advice is just to take it and see how your world changes.