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i don’t love you more than my daddy

When I was applying to college, my parents didn’t loan me money to go away for school. My mom and dad, who have always known what is best for me, decided this wasn’t what they were willing to spend money…

Choosing to choose

My family was a little upset with me when I went to visit my future in-laws for the first time. According to a rule I knew nothing about until I broke it, I was supposed to meet them with my…

woman sitting on table not feeling beautiful

I don’t feel beautiful, often

I have struggled with acne for most of my 20’s. I hate talking about it because it truly embarasses me. There are days when I stare at my face for much longer than I should because I genuinely do not…

view of city from hill

Walking through lonely

I have spent most of my life being Miss Congeniality. Five minutes with me and I think it’s safe to say – I am all fun and games, easy going, and love, love, love to laugh. I carry my light…

rachel varkey choosing to be herself

Why I am (now) choosing to be myself

If you spend five minutes with me, you’ll know that I have the loudest voice in America. I don’t know how to whisper. And in all realms of my life – at home, work, church, school, among friends – I have…

air mattress in empty bedroom

A brat on an air mattress

I slept on an air mattress for two months until I finally got the courage to buy a real mattress without my family’s approval. My family was convinced there was no need for furniture because I wouldn’t be in New…

confetti on floor after celebration

It’s good to celebrate yourself

On my birthday last year, I was one month into living in NYC. I knew very few people and had no real birthday plans. I felt incredibly alone on that day. My best friend Sue attempted to surprise me with…

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