I am getting married late 2018 to the most incredible man I have ever met. This change from single to almost married happened over the course of 6 weeks and I transitioned from a very proud, comfortably single woman to almost wife of a man I believe God has prepared and chiseled me for.
He is the person, I will do incredibly important, meaningful, dent-making Kingdom things with.
I loved my single identity more than you probably loved your most favorite person. I wear the alone time, probably better than anyone you know and the transition to “almost wife” has been nothing but rattling.
Have any of you been propelled into a good season where you knew you weren’t ready? I find myself juggling and dropping every relationship that matters to me in this season. I hear the passive aggressive comments from girlfriends who love and support me, who know that I will make to the other side. All I can do is focus on the perceived “not enoughness” that lives within me.
I sit between thinking 1) he’s nuts for desiring my heart or 2) I will find a way to mess this up. There’s no way someone like me can be… wanted… in the way that God said it should be. I don’t feel enough to be loved by a good man.
It would be like the enemy to take an incredibly lovely, beautiful gift and make it about you and your feelings. I found that my “not enoughness” often lives in whether or not I believe I am deserving of good things. I grasp for rational, logical explanations to this incredibly beautiful gift that God is giving me.
If you are a believer in Jesus, the most important, incredible, undeserved gift you receive was the gift of the Cross. The Cross that makes every sin past, present, and future white as snow. The Cross that gives me the ability to operate in boldness, bravery, and without fear.
I believe that God is the giver of good, and on time gifts. He allows us to experience, enjoy, and find pleasure in the world and the people He has given us. The enemy is well aware of that and is looking for ways to dilute the joy we may experience in the midst of our gifts. He’s trying to confuse the gifts and the parameters around the gifts the Lord gives us because he knows once we activate the wholeness of them, we are tapping into the power of God.
The enemy doesn’t stand a chance in the power of God’s gift. Not a fighting chance.
We cannot allow the enemy’s distorted perceptions of us and the ways he wants to infiltrate our minds stand in the way of how we live into the goodness of God’s gifts to us.
Is there something good God has given you that you are having trouble finding the good in? Is there something that you are having a hard time believing is yours? Is there a good thing that you don’t believe is coming to you?
Your Father in heaven is a giver of good gifts.