My future partner is an incredibly loving and capable homebody. He is an introvert and enjoys his silence and alone time better than anyone I know.

I, on the other hand, find all my energy and joy in human interaction. I love talking and spending time with people. My relationships are the center of how I become a well-rounded, creative, and likeable person.

Over a rather poignant set of conversations, we discovered how differently we pursued community. This difference has framed how I’ve approached how I can be a good partner to this man.

My partner may only need me, but I sure as hell needed more than just him.

My partner and I fell in love because of the way we approach relationship. He fell in love with my ability to connect to people and I admire his ability to confidently find his way on his own.

There is nothing wrong with needing more or less community. Despite what people might say, your partner doesn’t have to be the “center” of your purpose.

In other cases, it’s okay to rely on one person as your rock and support system.

I’m here to say you must love yourself, know who you are, and learn how you will incorporate your independence, community, and family into how you pursue your grand love.

I spent the last 24 years of my life “alone” on Valentine’s Day. I have felt gut wrenching feelings when I saw men carrying bouquets of flowers and balloons to their loved ones.

I spent a lot of Valentine’s Days eating nachos and celebrating womanhood with my lady friends. I am not going to lie to you and say I was comfortable with my singleness on Valentine’s Day.

Some years, I was happier than others.

Over the last few years, I spent Valentine’s Day focusing on my relationships – despite if I was in one or not. It made me happy to celebrate the women I loved, because those relationships were so integral to who I am.

I hope today you can lean in toward more of what is important to you so you can love the center of who you are, and maybe even the person God has given you in a way that looks like Him, in your own flavor.


Living love boldly, courageously, and without fear.

1 Comment

  1. Wow that is beautiful said Rachel. I am 100% agreed with you of finding love in yourself!!!!that is so true and real!!!love it and enjoy reading your thoughts in life as women and beginning a journey of relationship!!!!Happy Valentine Day to you and your lové one!!!!

Write A Comment

Pin It